Guest Blog: I Accidentally Misspoke; Now What?

The moment is ingrained in my mind. My colleagues and I were hired to run an unconscious bias training at a law firm. As we were planning and rehearsing the training, I misgendered a trans-male colleague by addressing him with the pronoun her. I remember tripping over my next few words and, as the conversation moved on, it weighed down heavier on me each second. During a break, I called him to the side of the room and apologized profusely. He said it was fine, and then, ironically, we went back to rehearsing our presentation on unconscious bias training. 

As I practiced explaining bias to empty chairs, I grew increasingly aware of my own. Growing up in an Indian household, we never talked about gender as a spectrum. The moment with my colleague revealed how deeply rooted my perceptions around gender presentation can be, even when I am actively fighting against them. Also, I’d over-apologized, which I know I should not have done. While I could not guarantee that I would never make that mistake again, I wanted to make sure, if I did, I would know how to mitigate the effects of my blunder.